The battle we lose

  Some you win, and some you lose.  I guess the hardest battles fought are the ones you lose.  Those hurt the most.  We traveled down that dark and losing road, we fought with all our heart and soul, but the suffering became to great and we had to put our weapons down and say you win.  Cancer is a hard battle to fight and I admire those who are lucky enough to win, but that is not our story.  We suffered through chemo and radiation,  long hard days and night of pain and sickness, constant worry, are thing getting worst are the maintaining.  I think of what I went through and I can just imagine how Tom felt.  He was the one in agony, but now his journey has ended and he is at peace in the arms of God.  It is lonely with out him, and I grown quite at ease having a conversation with the dog. All tho it is very  embarrassing when I find myself muttering to myself at the grocery store.  Death is hard and all hoops they may you jump thru doesn't make is any easier.  You would think they could be a little kinder and gentler to people who have just lost someone so dear to them, but no they want you to dot all the I's and cross the T's.  We were not going to have this happen to us so we just never prepared.  Funny to think you are not going to die.  Well I guess my goal now is to get all my affairs in order,  and if possible out live my dear dog.  She is my best buddy, my protector, and best of all my dearest friend.